Extension of my Recent Blog

  So, I recently posted my opinion on what I thought cheating did to women. Since then, I have thought more about it, and I came to the conclusion that there was a much more long lasting affect that I did not include in my initial post. I would be doing myself as well as other women an injustice to not address this. I would have to say that the main effect that being cheated on has on a woman is that it NEGATIVELY AFFECTS HER FUTURE RELATIONSHIPS AND EFFORTS AT RELATIONSHIPS. See when a woman is cheated on, she throws all men in the category with man who cheated on her. She is defensive and guarded. She cannot properly give love or receive it because her trust is shot. She does not believe that this time will be any different and that is the way she treats any man that approaches her. When something good comes her way, she questions it or sabotages it because she subconsciously believes that it is indeed too good to be true. For example, if a guy comes in and does all the things that the woman was not getting in the previous relationship, she is prone to think he is fake or just putting on. In a new relationship, a woman who has been hurt is just sitting around waiting on this guy’s true colors to appear. 

The issue with this is that not all men are the same, and just because you had a bad experience with a guy, you cannot allow that experience to determine how you view and treat every other man that comes in your life. Not everybody is out to use and abuse you. There are some good men left, but you will never find him if you are still living in the dust of what happened to you.

Now, I am not saying that you should not be careful and pay attention to early signs, but you cannot allow what happened to you to determine what will happen to you. Treating a new man according to how an unfaithful ex treated you is allowing the very person who hurt you to control your life. If he is a factor in your decision making when dating, then he is still winning. HE IS STILL RULING YOUR LIFE EVEN IN HIS ABSENCE. Don’t give him that power. Does he deserve it? Moreover, what you are really doing is running a potentially good guy away. You will never be happy if you just refuse to let go of what happened to you. Again, not all men are the same. 

If you find yourself getting the same types of men, then that says something about your taste in men rather than the character of all men. 

Ok, so you had a bad relationship. It happens. Bounce back! Get over it. Dust yourself off, and try to love again. You are capable of giving and receiving real love. It can happen. Don’t give up on it or ruin it because you were hurt.  

~Ro

 

  

 

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How Being Cheated On Affects a Woman!!!

imageRecently a friend asked me what I thought cheating did to a woman! Hmph it’s a pretty touchy subject, and I was hesitant to write about it because I didn’t want anybody who cheats or has cheated to feel that I was throwing a rock at them. Moreover, I didn’t want my ex to feel that he was the muse for this blog, but you know what? If it hadn’t happened to me, then I wouldn’t be able to write about it. So here goes nothing. The question is
“How does cheating really affect women?”

My answer is simple: it ruins her. Even if for just a moment, being cheated on ruins a woman. Yes, she can bounce back and be herself again, but damage is indeed done. Let me share a few facts with you. Most women will agree; those who don’t either haven’t been cheated on or aren’t being honest

1. Cheating is much more than sex. Who really cares that you had sex with someone else? If it was just about the sex, then trust me we’d get over it much faster. Cheating is about the thought you put behind deceiving your spouse. It’s about the time and energy you stole. It’s about what went lacking at home while you were out doing who knows what with who knows whom. Cheating is the multiple times you lied without thinking about it. It’s about the way you left your spouse open and unprotected to be the butt of jokes and ridicule. See, the worst part of cheating does not happen in the bedroom. It happens long before you made it there.
2. Cheating causes a woman to question her worth. Regardless of how hard we try, we begin to wonder why we were not fulfilling enough or what we could have done differently. We lose a sense of self all because our spouse chose to cheat.
3. Cheating takes away a woman’s security. It makes her feel like she always have to be on the defense. We subconsciously feel that the world is against us.
4. Cheating makes a woman question her intelligence, especially when we stay. We wonder how we could be dumb enough to tolerate such treatment. However, when we leave we feel like a failure.
5. Lastly, cheating causes a woman to hate other women. Although, the woman owes us no loyalty, we find ourselves being bitter toward the woman. I mean let’s face it, we downright tend to despise the women.

I already know a lot of women will say these things didn’t happen to them and somehow they miraculously bounce back. Ha! Stop it. Show me a woman who wasn’t ruined by cheating and I’ll show you a woman who was cheating too.

-Ro