LOVING YOU!!!

Very few women, if any, will admit that they are always looking for ways to improve themselves. We will spend hundreds for the latest tone correcting makeup, hundreds for the latest bundles of non-shedding/non tangling foreign hair, hundreds for the latest fashions (handbags and designer shoes). For most women, life is merely about being the best version of themselves that they can be. Enough is never enough. We want to look good, feel good, smell good, and most importantly be good.

The sad truth here though is that there is not a shoe on the market that can truly make you feel good. There is not a lipstick sold that can truly make you be the best you that you can be. Shoes, and we know how much a woman loves a good pair of shoes, can honestly and sincerely fill those gaping holes that we feel when the makeup comes off. See the real truth is that feeling good is a matter of the heart. If you are not emotionally and spiritually feeling good then the outer appearance is just an expensive façade that can never make you feel complete.

To really feel complete, to really feel whole you have to be your own best friend. You have to be your own lover because the truth you really don’t love anyone else if you don’t love you. You are not anyone’s friend if you are not your own friend. When you are completely and utterly in love with yourself, then the harsh blows of the world won’t be as painful.

I know from experience that the best kind of love is self-love. Self-love helps you to be able to comfort yourself when things didn’t go as planned. When you are disappointed you can dust yourself off and fearlessly try again when you really love yourself because there is no fear in love. You can forgive and not hold grudges when you love yourself. You can smile for no reason, dance randomly in the grocery store, shamelessly listen to trap music and not feel judged because when you love yourself, nobody’s opinion of you even matters. (Yes I dance in the grocery store. I mean full fledge twerking!)

Life happens, and you will fail, you will be heartbroken, someone will hurt you, you will cry, you will fall; however, you can bounce back so hard when you choose to love you. Your enemies will even have to say “she’s not my favorite person, but she’s happy.” This happiness will show whether you have on $500 shoes or $5 shoes. This happiness will show whether you are single or have a man who adores you. The most important part of intrinsic happiness is that NOBODY CAN TAKE IT FROM YOU!

I urge you to choose you. Remove things from your life that hurt. Forgive those people who hurt you; try to understand their plight. Be happy. Smile. Love. If feels so good. The best thing a woman can do for herself is choose to love herself. Undeniably, the second best thing is to buy a nice pair of shoes. You may as well look good while loving you.

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I NEED HIM TO HAVE A HANDSOME HEART!!!!

beauty-is-only-skin-deep-beauty-quote

The inspiration for this post came from a conversation that I recently had with a dear friend. She told me that she has an issue dating a man who does not look a certain way. Meaning, that he has to dress a certain way and look a certain way. This friend went on to say that she thinks the “less attractive” men are nicer and more willing to cater to women, but she just wasn’t sure that she could be completely devoted to a man who was not as easy on her eyes as she would like for him to be. It is safe to say that this friend is single, and still waiting on her “eye candy.” Now, having had this conversation, I am wondering how many women agree with the sentiments of my friend. Exactly how many women are missing out on their husbands, soul mates, and God-anointed life partners because he did not have the charisma (swag) that she likes or is accustomed to? Have I been ignoring my husband because I did not like his shoes?? (If I have, Lord send him back!!!)

I’ll be the first to admit that I would love to wake up day and night to Denzel, Idris, or Floyd, but the reality of the situation is that this fantasy is not always real life.

Many women say that they are praying for a husband, but they turn down every man who does not have on expensive shoes and clothes. How do you know that you are not ignoring your husband every single day? How can you be sure that your husband is not that guy that you laughed at or gave the wrong number? I’d be willing to bet that sometimes when we pray for that husband, God shakes his head and says “I sent him to you, but you didn’t like his swag!” Poor women! Please be mindful that your blessing may not always be packaged exactly like you would like for it to. Look at the man’s heart. The most important part is HOW HE TREATS YOU. A million dollar diamond wrapped in a soiled diaper is still more valuable than cubic zirconia wrapped perfectly with a ribbon on top. It is what’s on the inside that matters. Beauty fades, but a kind heart will still be there. Women should long for a man who honors her from head to toe regardless of how he looks or dresses.

Now whatever you do, PLEASE don’t misinterpret me by leaving this post thinking that I wouldn’t prefer a husband that I find physically attractive; however, the older I get the less I am concerned with his outer appearance. Give me a good heart over good looks any day; I can pick his clothes and shoes. LOL.

Bottom line: everyone is entitled to be attracted to what they are attracted to, and the heart wants what the heart wants, but I will leave you with this thought:

A brand new BENZ with a defaulted engine is not going to get you as far as an old beat up FORD with a good engine. IT’S ABOUT WHAT IS INSIDE. WHAT DOES HIS HEART LOOK LIKE????

–Ro