YOU MADE YOUR BED….HOPE IT’S COMFY

Life is about choices.  You are free to make the choices that you want to make in life.  You are free to choose left or right.  You are free to choose to lie or tell the truth.  You are free to date who you please.  You are free to inflict pain or pleasure.  You are totally free in your decision making.  However, decision making is one of the most expensive freedoms that you have.  Making decisions is indeed a gamble, because although you are free to make choices, you are not free to choose the consequences associated with those choices.  You can choose to be disloyal to a person, but you cannot choose how that person will respond to your disloyalty.  You can even choose to have a child, but you cannot choose what that child will look like, act like, or be like.  When it comes to consequences you are totally POWERLESS and all your efforts to shape consequences are futile.  I said all of that to say this: you have to be careful about the bed that you are making, especially if it is one you are not sure you will be comfortable laying in.  You cannot keep making decisions and then running from the consequences of those decisions.  Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and say “hey I caused this, so let me deal with it.” Life does not afford you any rewinds or do over’s, so sometimes you have to focus on getting it right the first time.  If you attempt to make good heartfelt decisions, then you are less likely to be running, sad, and afraid when it is time to pay the piper.

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HOLD ON FOR WHAT??? LET IT GO!!!!

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I think that one of the hardest things in life to do is let go of a bad situation. Letting go is so scary because it requires you to step really far outside of your comfort zone. As long as you hang on to what you are familiar to, you do not have to worry about starting over, learning something new, or becoming acquainted with something all over again. This can go for any walk of life. Sometimes, it is just time to let go. Although holding on may be the most comfortable choice, it may also be the most expensive choice. You are paying for holding on: you are paying with your happiness, your peace of mind, and your mental stability. Is it really worth such a lofty price.

It’s like playing a losing game of tug o’ war, the more you hold on to that rope trying to pull it back to your, the more energy you are wasting and the more physical pain you are causing yourself. You are trying so hard to win the game, but you are not paying attention to the blisters you are creating on hands by tugging on that rope with all your might. It is sad to say, but sometimes you are actually winning when you just let go of the work. You saved some energy and you saved yourself from some unwanted pain.

I hear a lot of people say that they do not let go because they have invested so much time and energy in the situation. For example, people say that they don’t leave relationships because they have put so much into them. However, what does it matter what you put into something if you are not getting anything out? Take all that energy and effort you are putting into a bad situation, and put it into you and your goals. You deserve more than to give you very best effort and it return to your void. Let it go. If you are in a bad situation, letting it go can be one of the healthiest things you can do. You will thank yourself later. You can’t be concerned about what people think or what people will say. There comes a point when you have to make a selfish decision and say, I am doing this for me and NOT       anyone else. People may not always understand your decision, but do they have to live with it?

Letting go allows you to see what could be. When your hold on, you are sometimes stopping yourself from accomplishing all you can accomplish. True enough, you may go from one bad situation to another, but at least you will be able to say that you were brave enough to let go of what had you bound and move on to the unknown. The next situation may not always be a better one, but if you are already in a bad situation what do you really have to lose? You will never know what life has for you until you try. Scared people never changed the world. Let go of a bad situation even if it is all you know and see how easily all you know becomes all you KNEW.

I think that it is impossible to be the BEST YOU that you can be if you are holding one to something that is not good for you. Even on a job, you can’t provide your best work if you are a disgruntled employee. Seek to do things that makes you peaceful and happy, and let go of anything that makes you uneasy, sad or angry. This could mean taking a leap of faith and venturing into unknown, unfamiliar territory. You will survive; it won’t be easy, and in the beginning it won’t be comfortable, but it will be WORTH IT.

Anything that is not helping your grow is tearing you down. Even with your hand in a lion’s mouth, it suggest you sacrifice your hand just to save the rest of you. LET IT GO!!!!

–Ro

Calm Down: EVERYONE IS NOT HATING ON YOU!!!

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I was in a public place not very long ago, and I heard a lady say, “they talking about my shoes ugly; people always hating on me!” I instantly looked back at her shoes, and sure enough, I didn’t like her shoes AT ALL! I think it’s funny that we live in a society where anytime a person goes against what we are doing then they are automatically hating on us!!!!! Truth is there is a fine line between someone hating on you, and someone being truthful with you.

I think that a lot of issues in our lives intensify because we are not open to taking constructive criticism. Sometimes we are blinded by our own faults and need an outside person to tell us the truth. That criticism could be coming from a place intended to make us better. It doesn’t mean that the messenger is a “hater” maybe they just care enough to be honest. For example, the other day my mother told me my pants were too little. It offended the heck out of me, but when I looked in the mirror, I had to admit that she was completely right!!! If your loved ones can’t be honest with you, then tell me who can???

Nobody is perfect, and there is always room for improvement. If your bestie or bae offers you no constructive criticism, then he or she is lying to you. A loved one should push you to become the best version of you that you can be even if that means shedding light on some of those harsh truths. The Bible even said that a wise man accepts advice! When you’re criticized, don’t get mad. Don’t reject that criticism; it could be helping you to get to exactly where you need to be. Analyze the source of the criticism and use is as motivation to become better.

True enough some things come from a negative place, but that should even encourage you to keep grinding and accomplishing your goals. Take that criticism that comes from a negative place and use it as an excuse to really be all that you can be. THEN YOU MIGHT REALLY HAVE SOME HATERS!!!!
Bottom line, not every one will like you or what you’re doing and some will speak negatively of you. However, there are those people who care about you and want to see you improve, so they offer feedback and constructive criticism. Even on your best day there is room for improvement. NOT EVERYBODY IS HATING ON YOU!!!

If you aren’t being criticized, then chances are YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING. I’d rather be criticized for my efforts than ignored because I’m not even worth talking about. What about you??

–Ro